Pictures

I wrote a very long post on the flight to Miami about the trip and an incident on the bus Saturday and then I lost it. So I decided that means I should stick to something fun for now instead of going back to the topic from before. Which means...pictures!!! 

It was a long, hot bus ride Saturday. And Davie always closes his eyes on the flash!!

Here's the driveway Davie and his brother put it. After a big rain it looked like this:

But they were able to fix it again. And they put in drains this time to hopefully prevent issues in the future. 

In addition to the driveway, Davie added ceilings and doors to the bedrooms with A/C!!!

This is what the bedrooms had before instead of a door:

And before the ceiling, you looked up into the underside of the roof:

I made some new friends!!

The little yellow chick is mi Amiga. We were BFF's. mostly because she had a bad foot and couldn't outrun me. :)

I made lots of American food this trip. Spaghetti in a box with green beans, hamburgers and French fries, velveeta cheesy mac, hot dogs and cheese corn. It was all yummy and people actually ate it this time! Here I am making hamburgers and fries. 

I got sting by a bee! Not fun!

We played Skipbo, Jenga and I taught the kids how to use watercolors. 

Jasser wasn't sure about painting. 

It was a good trip!!!

Bus food (5/29/13)

It's amazing the things they sell on buses here. So far this trip they've had:

- chicken sandwiches (that was a first, we didn't try those)

- "fruit salad" that came in a plastic sandwich bag and looked like chunks of fruit in juice. People ate it by biting off a corner and sucking it out the hole. Lots of things are eaten or drunk out of little plastic bags here. 

- caramel

- hamburger and rice empanadas that were twice the size of what I normally see for an empanada. It was ten pesos (less than 50 cents) and it was GOOD! And still really hot. I think they were fresh from the fryer / oven / whatever. 

- apples

- mango slices

- chicken taquitos that they call tacos. I like those a lot. 

- different types of bread / cracker things

- some green fruit that Davie likes that tasted kind of like an apple, but not quite

- water, soda, juice

- 20 pesos got us a fried chicken leg with rice and a tortilla. Also yummy. I've eaten a lot of fried chicken this trip.  

- ice cream in a cup. Looked like maybe Neapolitan. 

- homemade potato chips for ten pesos

- some sort of candy that I hadn't seen before. It was either hard candy or marshmallow. It was big like a marshmallow but looked like it would be hard. I guess it could have been taffy maybe. Davie didn't know either. 

- some cross between a corn tortilla and a pancake that came with the cualjada cheese for ten pesos. I thought it would be warm and it wasn't, but it was still good. Sweet. I liked it. 

- corn on the cob

- mini tamales

I never thought I would eat a chicken leg out of a plastic bag with rice and like it, but the bus vendors definitely know what they are doing!

No regrets (5/25/13)

As we started the bus trip this afternoon, part of me started thinking about how I ended up in this place. This is my third trip to Nicaragua and I still can't wrap my mind around it sometimes. It's just such a foreign place in so many ways. Then I realized that I'm here because I made a choice to be here. I chose to marry Davie and take on all that that would bring. But looking back on it now, I don't really feel like there was a choice. I certainly don't remember a time while we were dating, before we got married, where I sat down with myself and asked myself if I was sure I was doing the right thing. And while that probably sounds like not the smartest way to live, not thinking seriously about big decisions, all I can say is that it really never crossed my mind that there was a choice. I loved Davie, and still do of course, more than I ever had thought was possible. I lucked out and he loved me in return. Not only that, but he treated me well and made me and my life better with his love. I might have been able to walk away if any one of those things had been missing, but with all of those present, there wasn't a choice. My heart decided for my head and all I could do was follow along on this journey and see where it took me. 

Despite all that we've been through since then, I wouldn't go back and tell myself not to go through with the wedding. It's been a crazy roller coaster since that day almost three years ago when we said I do, but the overarching theme has been one of love and happiness. We laugh so much, even while we're crying, and there is so much love between the two of us. I know we'll get through whatever comes our way in the future. We'll continue to stumble and make mistakes sometimes, but we are committed to each other and this marriage and we will make it work. 

Today has been a crazy day. Although that's nothing new in this country. :) I don't really want to go into details right now, maybe in a future post when this day is behind me. All I will say is keep your loved ones close, let them know everyday how much you care, and don't take anything for granted. I know I'm going to make the most of the next five days that I have with my husband. I'm so lucky to be here with him. 

I love you all!!

Seconds please

Pretty darn yummy for airplane food (and considering the chicken didn't look all that appetizing). I think I could have easily eaten two trays though, especially considering it was 9pm before we had dinner since the flight was delayed. :)

Now where's dessert?? :)

Bummer dude. They had dessert but it was cherry cheesecake. :( I may be one of the few people who don't like cheesecake and it's served ALL THE TIME!

A trip of firsts

You'll never believe it. My checked bags weighed 42 and 50 pounds respectively!! And that was without me having to do any fancy manipulation between bags and my carry ons are only my purse and my small rolling bag - no extra items being carried in my arms and my rolling bag is super light. I really think it's a first for me. :) 

Another first, I decided to splurge on business class on my Houston to Managua flight. I partly did it for the two free checked bags up to 70 pounds, but then I didn't even need that! It did still save me $40 since I would have had to pay for the second bag, I just didn't have to worry about overage charges after all. 

Another reason I decided to try business class was in order to have something fun to look forward to about my travel today. Part of my not being excited about the trip is just the overall fact that traveling can be tedious and not fun. So I thought I would shake things up a bit and see how the other half lives by flying at the front of the plane this time. :) I also think it will be good because I'll get dinner, which will be nice since I've only got about an hour between flights and that would have been tough to have time to get food on my way from one flight to the next. I'm also hoping I can sleep decently in the big, comfy seat since I won't land until 10:45pm Tulsa time and I got to work at 7am this morning. It's going to be a long day and some rest would be nice! It's a 3 hour and 17 minute flight, so even two hours of sleep would help! Otherwise Davie and I aren't going to have time to talk or catch up at all once he picks me up - I'll be headed straight to hotel to sleep! :)

I am excited about the trip now though. Thanks for letting me vent the other day. I needed it! :) I can't wait to see my husband!! Six days together is going to be awesome!!!!

I hope everyone has a great long weekend!

The Truth Hurts

I've been neglecting the blog.  I'm sorry. 

I was going to write more about my half marathon experience, but I couldn't come up with anything witty and profound to say.  I did it.  I still kind of can't believe I did it......

Although the sticker on my car helps me remember!

And I'm training to do it again in November.  Hopefully it won't be quite as painful of an experience in November if I can get my body really acclimated to it before hand.  Unlike this last time where I was pretty much just winging it.  :) 

I realized this morning that I haven't written anything about my upcoming trip....4 days!.....but that quickly was followed by the realization that I don't necessarily have anything upbeat and happy to say about the upcoming trip.  Which I think is ultimately why I've been avoiding the blog. 

I don't want to lie to y'all.  But admitting the truth sometimes sucks.  So it was easier to just not think about it than to try to come up with something to say that would make it sound like everything was hunky dory.  Sometimes the happy face is just too much work.  (And all my energy is being taken up putting the happy face on during "real" interactions.)  So the blog is left getting no face at all. 

Because, you see, while I am soooooooooooo excited about getting to see Davie again in just 4 days, there are a lot of things I'm really not looking forward to about this trip.  And I hate admitting that.  I wish I could be excited without all of the crappy stuff too.  But I'm really NOT excited about spending 4 nights at my MIL's house again.  Part of me feels like I've been there, done that, I shouldn't have to do it again!  :)  I am hoping it will be less of a culture shock now that I've spent time there and I know better what to expect.  But I don't feel ready to go back to being physically and mentally uncomfortable, even if it is only for 4 nights (the first and last nights will be spent in Managua, so at least that's a plus!).  I especially don't feel ready considering my emotional state is a little fragile right now.  Add physical and mental discomfort to that, and I'm almost guaranteed to be a mess this whole trip!

I'm also really, really not looking forward to having to say good bye to Davie again at the end of this trip.  It's getting harder and harder to think about parting, and while I love the visits, they also seem kind of mean.  What I want is so close, but at the same time it's so far, and I know this isn't the trip where I'll get to bring my boys home. 

I love that we figured out we can text pictures!!  It's been great getting real time pictures of what Davie is doing without having to wait for a trip down there to see them.

I know there's nothing I can do except to keep my chin up and try to be strong.  Falling apart doesn't help anything and I can't hide out at home for the next 7 months, waiting for all of this to be over.  So I try to keep myself busy, and I try to put on my happy face.  It doesn't always work and I've found it's easiest just to let the tears come when they want and then move on.  The recovery seems quicker if I don't fight it.  :)  Of course that means I end up crying in random places and some people probably end up thinking I'm a freak (sorry couple next to me at Bros. Houligan talking baby names because they just found out she was pregnant and sorry sales guy at the Vintage Market Days this weekend who sold me this awesome window frame that will be going above our bed!).

While I would love to make it through this separation without crying, we all know that's not going to happen.  I will be a crier my whole life and I just have to deal with it.  :) 

Thankfully, despite the crying, I have wonderful friends and family who are helping me through this experience.  I don't know what I would do without Vanessa.  Not only is she letting me take over most of her weekends with my many visits to OKC, she's going along with me to all sorts of 5k's and other madness. 

Crazy Car Days 5/18.  The bottom left has teeth on it - real dentures and dental equipment and taxidermy deer eyes.  Gross!!!!

Dance Your Paws Off fundraiser for the OKC Animal Shelter

 

Color Me Rad run!!

It's also been really nice this month to have Mandy staying with me while she is traveling to Tulsa for work.  I know she hates being away from Colin and Grady so much, but I really appreciate having someone to talk to in the evenings! 

And as I've said before, I also really appreciate all of the cards, emails, calls I've gotten from so many of you to let me know you are thinking of Davie and I.

We'll get through this.  Just some days are easier than others.  And while in some ways it feels like Davie just left, in many others it feels like he has been gone for a very long time.  All the things I'm doing to help me stay busy and keep my mind off of it, are also things that I'm doing without him that he's not getting to experience.  And I hate that.  There are some things I won't do without him.  Concerts I won't go to, things around the house that I won't do, etc.  I don't want to make too many memories without him.  We can do those things together when he is home where he belongs!

Until then, I will try to make the most out of these visits, in whatever shape they may take.  I'm packing a bunch of dresses and light clothing and hopefully we'll get to go to the river and do other activities to keep us cool while I'm there - Davie keeps talking about how hot it is.  I also know that no matter how miserable it may be to be there, I still won't want to come back when it's time! 

Who turned on the water works??

I'll write more about the awesomeness that was my first half marathon (13.1 miles of jogging / walking that took me past the capitol, through beautiful neighborhoods, and up and down some crazy hills) later, but first I wanted to share an incident from around mile 6 this morning that made me realize that no matter how much I may look like I've got it all together on the outside, on the inside I just miss my husband more than I can put into words.

I thought I was doing so well since I got back from our beach vacation. There had been very few (if any) tears since I got back and I was holding things together pretty well and really trying to just enjoy my time at home right now, knowing that I'll be with Davie again soon (26 days!) and he'll be home before we know it. I was proud of how well I seemed to be doing.

All that came crashing down this morning with two little words.

To preface, I will say that I got up at 4:30 this morning after a very full week, a late night Friday, and a crazy day Saturday. To say I was tired would be an understatement. I was also in the middle of tackling a huge challenge, one I never thought I would accomplish before two months ago, and one I was still very nervous about. So I was emotional to begin with, and very tired, which just makes my emotional status even higher.

And then the lady I was walking with, who was soooooo nice and did a perfect pace for my first half, turned to her friend who was with us and asked "Do you think our boys will be at the finish line?"

And I was immediately reminded how much I wanted MY boys to be waiting there for me with big smiles and proud faces and huge hugs. Or, even better, how much I wished Davie could have been doing the half WITH me. He has been such a great supporter through all of this and was amazing to workout with last year. When we talk about my work outs now, he likes to tell me that I'm strong and I can do anything I put my mind too. I tell him he makes me strong and I can do so much more with him.

Needless to say, my friend took one look at my face and thought I must have injured myself. (Which wouldn't have been out of the realm of possibilities.) And instead I had to tell them that I'm pretty much just a walking mess these days and not to mind me. :)

I try so hard to be strong. I want to be strong for Davie, who is bored out of his mind and out of his comfort zone after spending so many years in the US, and I want to be strong for Eduardo, who will be coming home with us soon and is still trying to get to know his dad and I, and I want to be strong for myself, because I hate being the one everyone expects to be a puddle of crying goo on the floor. But sometimes I'm just not able to do it. Sometimes this whole process is just too overwhelming, too suffocating to be able to believe I'll make it through.

But just like I did today on the half marathon route, all I can do is mentally pick myself up and keep going. Because, eventually, putting one foot in front of the other, over and over, will get us where we need to go and where we so desperately want to be. And, maybe, hopefully, if we're lucky, Davie can be on that course with me next year, with Eduardo on the sidewalks cheering us on (with a friend/family member of course - I may not know much about parenting, but I know a 6 year old can't be left alone for a half marathon 😝), and we can run through the finish line together, knowing we've accomplished more than one thing that most people would find impossible.