Paperwork is (mostly) done!

I feel like there's a huge weight lifted as we're almost completely done with the various applications and forms, etc that needed to be done after Kaylynn was born. We'll have her US passport in less than two weeks and her naturalization certificate (like a birth certificate) in less than four. 

We took a few more things by the lawyer earlier this week and she's already started the paperwork for our residency. We officially have temporary status and don't have to worry about renewing our tourist visas anymore!! It feels so nice to not be a "tourist" anymore! I don't know how people live that way here for years.  The lawyer thinks four months before our residency is finalized. Keep your fingers crossed it goes quickly!!!

Once we have Kaylynn's US passport, we'll go do her permiso de salida (permission to leave) that indicates who is allowed to leave the country with her. That'll be our last piece before we can visit the US. 

It's all starting to come together, I hope!

Look how big our girl has gotten!! She's been so good this week as we've run around getting things done. Tomorrow my plan is for her and I to rest!!

One month

It's been a month! It's gone so fast! Mostly I feel like the past month has gone really well. Especially the last two weeks or so, it seems like we're all getting used to having you around. :) I'll be glad for a little more sleep when that happens, but until then I think we've got a good thing going with the nighttime feedings. Most of the time, no one else even knows we've gotten up! Which I consider a success given the size of our place. :) Davie is baby whisperer and it's his job to get Kaylynn to sleep if she's fighting it. He does a great job and it's been really nice for me to be able to pass her off sometimes since she mostly just eats, which is all me. :)

Some of my favorite things about her this past month:

Her lips get very light pink after eating.  

She makes the cutest mouth shapes. Like this puckered look. 

She has the cutest moves as she starts to learn her body parts - her startle reflex is pretty funny. Her eyes get so big! Then there's "super girl" where she puts one or both arms over her head like she's flying like Superman or the body builder / rapper move where she circles her arms like she's showing off muscles or saying "yo, homie, what's up?" She's very expressive. 

I love how she props herself on her hands / arms while sleeping. 

Like this. It's so adorable!!

She's got monster feet. They are longer than my palm! And she's got long fingers to go with them!

I know they aren't real yet, but I love your smiles and laughs. You're so happy!

You are a hairy little thing. It's very cute all the fine, dark hair on your arms and back. 

Nicknames:

Chunky monkey, gusanita (little inch worm), pájaro / bird, baby girl, nasty, gruñona (cranky girl)

Past times:

Eating, sleeping, farting / burping

Just lounging around. 

Tiger got in on the picture action too. 

Tiger says - I was here first little human. Make room for me!

Lots of changes in a month!!

Sweet Pea (2002-2014)

Rest in peace my sweet friend. You've always lived up to your name - you gave so much love and affection. You lived up to your Circus Kitty nickname too! I loved how you would jump up like a circus pony in order to get some love. :) You were always my problem child though. It started from the very beginning when you pulled out all the stitches from your spay surgery and I freaked out and rushed you to the vet to make sure you were ok. That was the first of many trips to the vet to see if you were ok. Today was the last trip, when it became obvious that you weren't ok anymore and wouldn't be able to be ok again. Letting you go was so hard. And I'll never stop feeling like I could have done more for you. I didn't deserve all the love you so freely gave. But I hope, when it was all said and done, your life was more happy than sad and that you knew how much I loved you. 

I remember when I got you. My college roommate was going to get a barn cat. The night before I had a dream where Mike told me to get the all white cat and name it Sweet Pea. I wasn't planning on getting a cat that day - we already had Tiger too! - but when I saw you I knew I had to do what the dream said! Of course then you got darker and darker the older you got, until you weren't an all white kitty anymore, but I thought it just made you more beautiful. I'll never regret getting you that day!

You were with me through so much. We had twelve years, three states, two countries, roommates and boyfriends and friends, a husband, a stepson and a daughter. Thank you for being there. I'll miss you. 

I'm so used to talking to you as we would do things. This morning I put you in your carrier and started to ask if you were ready to go like I normally would when I realized where we were going. I didn't know how to ask if you were ready to go and not come back. I wish there was a way you could have told me if you were ready. I can't believe you are gone. 

You came to be with me this morning while I fed Kaylynn. Even in pain and sick, you were by my side. 

Yesterday I tried to introduce you to Kaylynn again. Neither one of you were very impressed. :)

The Three Musketeers. 

Your first meeting with Kaylynn didn't go so well. :)

Tiger was such a good mom to you. 

Davie cried today too. I told him stories about you from before he met us while you fell asleep in my arms. I don't think I could have gotten through today without him. He's going to miss you too. 

Eduardo is sad to lose you too. You spent your last night sleeping with him in his bed. 

Not a care in the world. :)

You in healthier times. I want to remember you like this and not how you were last night. I'm so sorry I let it get as bad as it did. I never wanted you to suffer. I hope you are in a better place now. 

Trying to make a living

Last weekend I went to a recruiting open house at an international consulting firm that is looking to hire 300+ people here in the next few months. It felt very weird going to what was basically a job interview when Kaylynn wasn't even three weeks old, but it also felt really good to put on regular clothes and talk work for a little while. The company was interested, but said I need my job permit first. So I'll try again in a few months, once our residency is done, assuming I haven't found something else by then. It was also nice to have them show some interest, even if it can't go anywhere yet. I wanted to get a picture of me all dressed up for work with Kaylynn, but she was crying, ready to eat, when I walked in the door, so it didn't end up happening. My next interview I'll take a picture with her! She and Davie did a great job by themselves while I was gone. The timing worked out perfectly!

I'm really hoping it won't take long to find a job once I've got my job permit. Of course I said the same thing when we moved here. :P There are lots of good options available on LinkedIn right now, it seems. I've also still got Walmart in the US as a potential as well as another company in the US that is currently considering if it would work for me to be their SEC reporting manager remotely. It would also be around 50% travel, but it's a really good opportunity, if it were to work out. If nothing else, it's a great confidence booster that they are even willing to consider it!

When we first decided on the move, I wanted a job here, not one based in the US, so I could make my home here and not feel like I was still in limbo, going back and forth between places. However, now I (1) really want / need a job :) and (2) have pretty much decided that we don't actually want to make our home here, so having a job in the US would be good as I wouldn't have to change jobs again when we move back to the US. Although I think #2 would become less of an issue if I found a job here and could start to feel like this was our home and we had money to explore on the weekends and see different parts of the country. But, either way, Davie really wants to be back in the US, sooner rather than later, so even if I had a job here and we were able to see the country, I think Davie will still want to move as soon as we can. I also think having a US based job would help with our application to return to the US, as traveling back and forth for work would be an additional hardship. But that is still a few years away. :)

We're hoping to get our residency application turned in this week. We're waiting on one piece that's in the mail and then we'll be ready. We've got a lawyer who is helping - I hope we have better luck with her than we've had with other lawyers in the past. :P And we go this Thursday, on Kaylynn's one month birthday, to the US embassy to register her birth abroad and get her US citizenship / passport. I can't believe she'll be a month old on Thursday!!!

I definitely feel like she is growing and changing a lot already. She is very alert in the mornings especially and her newborn clothes, that were a little big, are fitting much better. She's got some really cute outfits in her three month stuff - I can't wait until she can fit into them!!

Sweet Pea is going to the vet this afternoon. Keep your fingers crossed it goes ok!

Now here are some pics of our pretty little girl! If anyone didn't get a link to her online baby book where I post pictures and updates just about her and would like one, please let me know!

This was yesterday. She's still sleeping propped up on her hands. It's so cute!

This is how she looks when she's done eating. Passed out! :)

Blurry smile. She's such a happy girl!! (I know the smiles aren't "real" yet, but they are still super adorable!!)

Parent worries

I did it again. Made assumptions about something like I knew what I was talking about, only to be proven wrong very quickly. One day, maybe, I'll learn. :) I would like to say, though, that my assumptions tend to be optimistic, so that's a plus at least, right? I'm not all doom and gloom. I'm thinking things will be easy, or at least less hard, versus thinking they will be awful. But that doesn't end up being the case after all. :)

You see, I had thought parenting a baby would be easier than parenting a seven-year-old. Because with a baby I just have to feed and clothe and keep clean, right? But a seven-year-old requires attention and interaction, like "I'm listening and can respond with things that make sense with what you said / asked" attention and interaction. And thought has to go into that because therapy may be needed for the child in later years if the wrong thing is said or the wrong behavior is modeled or I'm too strict or not strict enough. All that brings stress and worry with parenting a seven-year-old that I was just sure wouldn't be there or its equivalent with a baby. Babies are easy, right?

Oh my goodness, no. :) It's not easy parenting a baby and it's a lot more stressful trying to keep said baby alive and unbroken than I expected! And then add to that the additional worries I now have with Eduardo and I feel like my days are spent worrying and Googling about my worries!

My typical days worth of worries (and my Google history can attest to this) include:

- Putting her down to sleep with blankets. I know they say not to do it. We do it anyway. Am I setting us up for a disaster?

- Can babies suffocate if they spit up when laying down? She eats for sooooooo long at one time. I'm afraid she'll spit up a ton in the middle of the night and I won't wake up. (Granted, she actually rarely spits up, so I don't think this is likely to happen. But still, I worry.)

- Am I holding her enough? Giving her enough stimulus? Talking to her enough?

- I'm afraid of hurting her soft spots and her neck. How much force does it take to go through a soft spot anyway? 

- Her poop is a funny color - what does that mean??

- She wheezes when she eats. Is that normal?

- Is she eating too much? Is demand feeding the right way to go? How would we do anything else? When she's hungry, she's hungry!

- How bad is it that she slept more than four hours straight the other night? They say not to let babies this young do that! And she slept five and a half hours! (It was a beautiful thing for me, just not so sure about for her!)

- I am not eating as healthy as I should. Nothing sounds good! Is she getting the nutrients she needs?

- What's it going to be like when I go back to work? Will I be able to handle being away from Davie and Kaylynn all day, every day? (Eduardo is a little easier as he is already in school most of the day, so I'm used to being apart from him. Davie and I haven't been apart much since we got here though. I have already started trying to leave Kaylynn for a little while when I can to start getting used to it.)  Have I forgotten everything I knew in the five months I've been unemployed? Will I be able to even find a job? How will Davie do on his own with her and Eduardo while I'm working? Is it a bad idea for him to stay home?

- Am I going to mess up my milk supply in some way? Has she fed an even amount on both sides? When should I start pumping? How do I start pumping? Right now there's really not a free time I could use to pump. When should we introduce a bottle so she can start getting used to it for when I go back to work? (Thank goodness pacifier use didn't stick yet so I could stop worrying about introducing those too early.)

- Are we asking too much of Eduardo? Is he getting the attention he needs? I can be so snappy / emotional these days, am I completely warping his sense of self and the way he views women with my crazy ways? Are we letting him watch too much TV / too many movies now? Does he think we love Kaylynn more than him? 

- And I can't forget my worries about the animals. Are they getting enough attention? How are they adjusting to a new baby? Sweet Pea is sickly - is it time to put her down? If I do that, will I be doing it because she really is ready or because she needs more attention now than I can give her? (I think I'll always wonder about that.) Am I terrible for even thinking about doing it? She's only 12! (I'm taking her to the vet Tuesday - no more putting it off.)

Some of these are things I could probably easily fix. Some of these are things I think I'll worry about in one form or another for years. And the worries change every day with new ones added and some going away. Parenting is hard!!

But the kids sure are cute. :)

I want to like it here

What a crazy two weeks it's been.  So much has happened!  I can't believe 13 days ago at this time I was calling Davie from our hospital room, wondering where he was with our daughter!  :)  He had gone with Kaylynn and the pediatrician when they took her to be checked out and make sure all was okay and then they never came back!  I made it back to our room from the labor and delivery room but they weren't there.  After waiting a few minutes, I called him to see where they were.  An hour apart from Kaylynn at that point was plenty!  :)  Turns out, they were supposedly waiting for me to come to them to feed her, but she was supposed to come to me.  So it was good I called!  Her APGAR scores were 9's both times.  We're very proud of our little girl!

 

All things considered, I would say the birth experience went much better than I could have expected.  Once things actually got started, it only took around four hours, which wasn't that bad at all.  I'm very lucky to not have had contractions or had to push for hours and hours.  I will say, the hour and forty minutes of contractions I had before getting the epidural were the hardest hour and forty minutes I have ever lived through.  But once I got the epidural, I was happy!  :)  My doctor even gave me a hard time for joking around with Davie once the epidural kicked in - she said I was supposed to be concentrating on trying to feel the contractions so I could push!  I was just so relieved to be done with the pain that I was a little loopy.  :)  Overall, I also feel like my experience probably wasn't that different here than it would have been had I been in the US giving birth.  Obviously I can't say that for sure, not having given birth in the US before, but the hospital was very professional and I felt like we would have been taken care of if things went south.  However, I am glad we didn't have to test that theory!

 

As expected, I've been on a bit of a hormonal emotional roller coaster since giving birth.  Although it's been less hard than I had thought it might be given my tendency to be emotional / depressed anyway.  :)  It's been very interesting to experience as there is no control over the emotions and they may not make any sense but they are what they are and I just have to go with them and feel what comes my way.  There have been some days where it seems like someone looking at me is enough to start me crying.  But thankfully those times haven't been the majority.  Mostly I feel strong and able to handle what comes my way - it helps that we've gotten a good sleep routine going right now at night and I'm getting around five hours a night in two shifts.  That's not to say that there haven't been times where I've also felt like a complete failure and not able to do anything right.  :)  Breast feeding in the beginning was very difficult and definitely led to lots of feelings of inadequacy.  But we've mostly gotten the hang of it now, thank goodness! 

 

Above all else though, my most emotional times have been when I think about my family and friends in the US.  More than anything else associated with giving birth, the hardest part for me has been being so far away, knowing that most of you won't get to meet Kaylynn any time soon.  I can't help but think how things would be if we were in the US with all of you relatively close.  I keep telling Davie that I really do want to like it here and I think I will like it better once I have a job.  I just haven't gotten to the point yet though where I'm done grieving for what could be / might have been.  I want to get there, I just don't know how.  And having a baby has brought it all back to the forefront.  I miss home!  I'm so glad Mom and Dad were able to visit and meet Kaylynn so quickly.  It was great to have that time with them and makes it a little easier to wait for when the rest of you can meet her.  Hopefully we will be visiting at the end of December if all goes how I'm hoping. 

 

Until then, here are some pictures to hold you over.  :)

 

I love this picture!!  Baby girl was NOT pleased, but Eduardo was so cute trying to get her to be happy again.  He's going to be a great big brother!

 

One of my favorite things is watching Davie with her.  There's a lot of love there and it's beautiful to see.

 

These two love to sleep.  It's so sweet!

I love her chubby cheeks and her hands while she sleeps.  My sweet baby girl.

First family photo of the four of us.

 

Nine days post partum.  10 pounds down.  It's funny to me how droopy my belly is now after it was so firm and high with her for so long.  :)

I'm not wanting to try to actively lose weight at this point, but I am hoping that breast feeding takes care of some of the work for me.  :)  I'm currently down around 15 pounds from before giving birth.  That actually puts me 5 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight since I only gained around 10 pounds.  I'm hoping after another week I'll feel up to try walking again - at least a mile to start.  Nothing crazy or anything at first, but I would like to get out there again and move.  I want to try to find a 5k in late November / early December to sign up for to use as a goal.  I'm looking forward to doing my first race here! 

We've had a lot going on the last week - Tuesday we had our one week doctor's appointments for Kaylynn and I, Wednesday we had newborn pics and Thursday we had Kaylynn's hearing test (passed with flying colors!) and ran some errands.  Tomorrow we're going to go to the Nicaraguan embassy to pick up Davie's birth certificate and Nica police record.  We have an appointment with the US embassy for October 30th to register her birth / apply for her US citizenship and US passport.  We need to get her birth certificate and a few other things and then we'll be ready to submit our Costa Rican residency application.  I'm hoping we can have the residency application turned in by the 20th and then the US and Nicaraguan naturalization paperwork done by the end of the month.  There's a lot to do this month!

Kaylynn Alexa Maradiaga (Maradiaga)

Born September 23rd, 2014 at 5:50pm

7.2 pounds, 18.9 inches

We're all completely in love with her. 

Welcome to the world baby girl!! You're going to do amazing things!

(Turns out I didn't end up having a choice in the two last names debate. Costa Rica requires two last names - the mom's and the dad's. Since I had changed my last name when we got married, she got Maradiaga twice. :( I'm not in love with that, but it's all part of giving birth in a foreign country, right? :))